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When Christina Stabile tucked handwritten napkin notes into her son’s lunchbox each morning, she thought of them as tiny gestures of love. They said things like “Have a great day, I love you”—simple reminders that home was close, even at school. But one afternoon her son came home with an unexpected story: a classmate had been pulling those notes from his lunchbox and ripping them apart.
At first, Christina was frustrated. Why would another child do that? Then she stopped herself. As she shared in her now-viral Instagram video, she realized the boy’s behavior came from somewhere deeper than mischief. “I tapped into my wounded inner child,” she explained. “I could remember, you know, being upset that anytime anybody ever got something that I perceived I didn’t have. Instead of reacting with anger, she chose empathy. The next day, she wrote two notes: one for her son and one for the boy who’d been tearing them up.
At first, the classmate told her son to destroy his note again. But after a few days of receiving messages addressed to him too, he began keeping them. Christina’s small act of compassion quickly resonated across social media and became a quiet example of what radical empathy can look like in parenting.
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From frustration to understanding
Parents watching the video instantly connected to the moment when Christina paused before responding. Many admitted they would have felt defensive, wanting the other child “disciplined.” Instead, she chose to look beneath the surface.
Research backs that up. Studies published in Pediatric Investigation show that parental empathy supports stronger emotional regulation and social skills in children. When parents pause to interpret what a child’s actions might reveal about their feelings, kids learn that compassion can coexist with boundaries.
As one commenter, mybundleofboysandme, on Christina’s video wrote, “Those who need love the most ask for it in the most unloving way.” It’s a reminder that kindness is emotional strength in motion.
Related: Teaching my children to be good citizens: How to foster empathy through philanthropic giving
What people are saying
The comments under Christina’s post quickly became a reflection of how deeply this story touched parents, teachers, and caregivers.
- Musickf: “This small act could actually be life-changing for the kid, honestly. It might be the first time he’s included and brought into something positive. he may not get it at home. Or at least enough for a kid to feel like he is loved.”
- Takeheartmakeart: “Being a good mom isn’t just about treating YOUR kids right. It’s about treating ALL kids right.”
- Cksinsidevoice: “If there is a Parent Peace Prize, you’re nominated for it”
- Rozavaja_varona_art: “I would not have figured this move out on my one, thank you for teaching me a much better approach I haven’t figured before ”
The collective response shows how one parent’s decision to act with empathy instead of outrage inspired thousands of others to think differently about how they respond to hurt—especially when that hurt comes from a child.
Teaching empathy as emotional Protection
Christina’s choice didn’t mean ignoring the harm done to her son. Instead, it reframed protection as teaching compassion alongside self-Respect. Experts say this approach can help children build social-emotional resilience, the ability to handle conflict, disappointment, and difference while staying grounded in empathy.
Children learn empathy primarily through Observation. When they see parents extend understanding to others, they internalize that pattern and are more likely to respond with care in their own friendships. Which means that we can teach our kids to stand up for themselves while still seeing the humanity in others.
Related: Danielle DuBoise on the importance of empathy in motherhood and listening to your body
How parents can nurture empathy at home
Small, everyday choices can help children see empathy in action. Experts suggest:
- Pause before reacting. When a situation sparks frustration, take a breath before responding. Even a few seconds of calm can help turn a reactive moment into a teaching one.
- Label emotions out loud. Naming feelings helps children build emotional vocabulary and reduces aggressive behavior.
- Highlight kindness as a value. Praise gentle acts as much as accomplishments. Kids who see empathy celebrated at home are more likely to practice it with peers.
- Practice perspective-taking. When conflict arises, ask, “How do you think they felt?” This question helps children connect emotion to action.
Each small step builds toward the larger goal: raising kids who understand that compassion and strength can live side by side.
The lesson beyond the lunchbox
What began as a torn napkin turned into a lesson that stretched far beyond one school lunch. Parents flooded the comments with their own memories of times they wished an adult had responded with more understanding. Others said they now plan to write notes, share snacks, or find small ways to reach the “other kid” in the room.
Christina’s story reminds us that empathy doesn’t always arrive in grand gestures. Sometimes it’s written in simple words, tucked into a lunchbox, and offered until someone finally feels seen.
Maybe the best lessons we send with our children aren’t written on paper at all—they’re the ones they watch us live.