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It was just another school day, or so everyone thought. When Murphy, a kindergartner from South Carolina, got off the bus, she was wearing fresh clothes but still trembling, eyes brimming with tears. Earlier, she had held it all day, unsure when the bathroom breaks were, and had an accident right before leaving school.
Her mom, Alyson Kenny, a certified etiquette consultant, shared the backstory in an Instagram post on @chasingcivility, which has since racked up 6.6 million views.
“Last week, our daughter had an accident leaving school. For context, I can count on less than one hand how many accidents she has had since she’s been out of diapers…so this was a rare incident and she came home extremely embarrassed and sad,” Kenny wrote.
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She messaged her husband about how down Murphy was feeling. Without missing a beat, he told her to let the girls know he’d had an accident too and would need to change when he got home: telling them not to make a big deal of it.
The result? A playful splash mimicking Murphy’s mishap greeted her at the front door. Her dad’s humor worked instantly: Murphy’s tears faded into giggles, embarrassment lifted, and a powerful lesson in empathy landed without shame.
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Why this moment hits parents so hard
Early childhood is full of micro-shames (bathroom accidents, spills, or public tears) that can stick with kids far longer than we expect.
Jennifer Kromberg, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist in California, explains in Psychology Today, “Parents overtly and also unintentionally teach us how to approach our lives and relationships. They teach us how to express and receive love, how to process feelings, etc.”
When a parent models calm, humor, and empathy, children borrow that regulation rather than internalizing guilt.
School-day accidents are normal
Accidents happen for many kindergarteners, even the confident ones, and they’re often tied to long days, unclear bathroom Routines, or the stress of new school schedules.
These moments are developmentally normal and usually fade as children learn when and how to ask for breaks. The most helpful response is to normalize the experience first so your child feels safe, then quietly sort out the logistics, like checking bathroom policies or reinforcing simple ways to speak up, without adding pressure or shame.
Say this, not that: Parent scripts
Language shapes how kids process moments like this, and simple, warm phrases can help them feel safe instead of ashamed.
Parents can model calm responses, things like “Bodies have surprises sometimes, you’re okay” to show that accidents don’t define them. Kids can also practice short, confident requests for next time, such as asking a teacher for a bathroom break or signaling that they need to go.
Keeping the tone light and supportive helps children borrow your regulation rather than internalize embarrassment.
When home and school work together
A quiet partnership with your child’s teacher can make these moments feel manageable instead of overwhelming.
A quick conversation to confirm bathroom access, create a discreet signal for urgent needs, or keep a spare outfit in the classroom can ease so much pressure. These small steps tell your child that the adults in their world are working together to protect their comfort. Pediatric Guidance supports this teamwork, emphasizing that kids thrive when they know they can respond to their bodies without fear.
When home and school speak the same language of reassurance, confidence grows fast.
When gentle humor supports healing
Humor can be a powerful way to ease embarrassment, especially when it comes from a place of warmth and solidarity, the way Murphy’s dad used it.
The key is paying close attention to your child’s cues, true laughter and relaxed body language show they feel understood, while lingering distress means they may still need quiet reassurance. When humor is offered gently and privately, without teasing or making a spectacle of the moment, it can help children see mistakes as manageable rather than defining.
Helping kids reset after a hard day
After a tough or embarrassing day, small acts of care can help children reset.
A warm bath, fresh clothes, or a cozy moment together with a favorite story often gives them the space to unwind and reconnect. Later, when everyone is calm, practicing a simple bathroom request for the next day, or making sure a spare outfit is tucked in their backpack, can quietly rebuild a child’s confidence without dwelling on the accident itself.
Private moments, public feeds: a gentle note
Sharing parenting wins online can normalize empathy, but consider your child’s privacy. Cropping faces, omitting specifics, or sharing in closed circles can protect future dignity. Kenny’s post drew celebration for empathy (and a few questions about sharing) but she emphasizes that each family decides what fits.
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Small gestures, big impact
Sometimes, the smallest acts of solidarity reset a hard day. A splash of water, a shared laugh, or a patient ear can transform shame into connection, and teach children that mistakes don’t define them. At the front door that day, Murphy learned that she was safe, loved, and seen. And that lesson will last far longer than any embarrassment ever could.