Table of Contents
On September 16, a Threads post from a new mom began quietly circulating online, not because it was polished or posed, but because it was raw.
“I just need to scream into the void for a second…” wrote Kara Dellisanti Jordahl (@kddellis). “I am 10 months postpartum as a first-time mom, I have no idea who the hell I am anymore, our finances are a wreck, my husband and I are two ships in the night who fight more than we connect… I feel so completely alone, and there are days I just feel like everybody and everything would be better if I was not here. Everything feels 1 million times harder than it should be and every day just feels like I am fighting to stay above water. Kthx.”
View on Threads
The void became a village
Kara’s honesty cracked something open—a reminder that what feels like shouting into the void often reaches other moms standing in the same dark. Within hours, hundreds of mothers, many strangers, filled her comment section with words of compassion, validation, and quiet solidarity.”
When a mother writes “me too,” she’s offering proof that someone else has made it through. Those words can bridge the gap between loneliness and connection.
- “Don’t underestimate how how hard the first year of motherhood is. Be kind to yourself. You are doing a great job and it will get easier soon.” — @charitykamla
- “Don’t be embarrassed and know there’s resources and help . You owe it to yourself and baby to reach out . Imagine the worst !!! It’s never a bad thing to ask for help . Ou got this . Hugs and prayers.” — @miss_dee_robinson
- “That is exactly the month after my first baby when I went on Zoloft and found an amazing, wise, therapist that I saw for the next 13 years. Such a hard time. Go easy on yourself. Hopefully you can find some help. ” — @jacquelinesella
Related: Cardi B opened up about prenatal depression—and she’s helping moms feel less alone
The quiet crisis of postpartum loneliness
Postpartum loneliness is often invisible, yet it’s one of the most common experiences new mothers face. After the early rush of visitors fades, many find themselves awake at 2 a.m., caring for a baby while feeling completely unseen.
According to the CDC, about 13% of women who’ve recently given birth report symptoms of postpartum depression, and a study published in StatPearls estimates that 1 in 7 parents will experience perinatal depression within the first year. Experts say the combination of hormonal changes, lack of sleep, and modern isolation, raising babies far from family or community, creates a perfect storm for emotional strain.
In a Culture that glorifies “doing it all,” moms often silence their pain to appear grateful or capable. Naming that loneliness is powerful. It turns a private ache into something shared—and that acknowledgment can be the first step toward finding connection, care, and recovery.
The gap between expectation and reality
According to Postpartum Support International, perinatal mood and anxiety disorders are far more common than most people realise, yet stigma and unrealistic expectations often prevent mothers from seeking help.
Experts note that the early months of motherhood can feel like an emotional collision between joy and exhaustion, a time when many women feel pressure to be endlessly grateful even when they’re completely depleted.
Research also shows that this gap between expectation and reality can heighten feelings of failure or isolation among new mothers, even though these reactions are a normal part of the postpartum adjustment period.
Related: How motherhood myths impacted my struggle with postpartum depression and anxiety
How to find your footing again
If Kara’s story feels familiar, you’re not alone—and there are ways to make tomorrow a little lighter. Healing from postpartum loneliness doesn’t require an overhaul; it begins with small, doable steps that remind your body and mind that you’re supported.
1. Reach out before you’re ready.
Send a text to a friend, message a fellow mom online, or mention your feelings to your OB or pediatrician. You don’t need the perfect words—just a starting point.
2. Rebuild rest in tiny doses.
Even short stretches of uninterrupted sleep or a quiet 10-minute walk can reset your nervous system. Rest isn’t a luxury; it’s medicine.
3. Create one moment of connection a day.
Whether it’s meeting another mom for coffee, joining a postpartum group, or commenting “me too” on someone’s story, connection can shift the heaviness.
4. Ask for help like it’s normal—because it is.
Family, friends, therapists, or virtual support groups all count. You don’t have to wait until you’re at your breaking point to deserve care.
5. Keep resources handy.
If you’re struggling, Postpartum Support International offers a free helpline and online groups for new parents. Talking to a trained counselor can help you find next steps that fit your life.
Taking care of yourself is part of motherhood. Every act of rest, care, or honesty strengthens your ability to show up for both you and your baby.
Finding your own version of support
If you’re reading this and recognise yourself in Kara’s words, know this: asking for help isn’t weakness; it’s survival. Whether your “village” is online, in therapy, or found one coffee date at a time, you deserve it. Because sometimes, the bravest thing a mother can do is whisper into the void and trust that someone will answer back.
Source:
- StatPearls. 2025. “Perinatal Depression.”
- CDC. 2020. Vital Signs: “Postpartum Depressive Symptoms and Provider Discussions About Perinatal Depression — United States, 2018.”